As a passionate advocate for women’s rights, I have recently been thinking a lot about the victim blaming mentality that is instilled in our society, and how victims of any sexual assault or harassment instances are often questioned incessantly about their own character and sense of judgment. It was the allegations against Harvey Weinstein that really got the ball rolling for me, and when I dug a little deeper I found out just how ingrained this mentality is. From Hollywood, to college campuses, to the Australian television industry, and even my own friend group, there seems to be a sense of doubt when a rape victim comes forward, either to simply share their story or to seek justice.
Let me put this in perspective. Imagine that your house is broken into and burgled, and you watch the whole thing happen. You know the burglar – maybe they’re a friend, co-worker, or just someone you have met briefly – and report this to the police. The police check the fingerprints the burglar left in your house, and sure enough you were right about the burglar’s identity, so a report is filed and charges are laid. In the case of burglary, we aren’t questioning that a crime was committed, and we’re not questioning what it was. So why is it so different when it comes to rape? Why are victims of sexual assault forced to prove that they were actually assaulted, when there is another person’s DNA inside of them, bruises on their thighs, and they are bleeding? Perhaps because despite the visible evidence, the question of consent remains, and the victim must still somehow prove that she or he did not consent, or was unable to do so.
Just yesterday, I was discussing the Brock Turner case with a friend of mine, when she said, “If the girl was blacked out, I feel like she still could have said yes and consented and he was super drunk as well so probably didn’t even realize.”
But this act is still not justifiable to me. It doesn’t matter how much alcohol was involved, what she was wearing, whether she flirted with him, how many people she has hooked up with – sexual assault is never okay. And nor is it ever the victim’s fault. No one should have to go out to a frat party, and wake up hours later alone in a hospital bed to be told that they have been violated, and then have to relive that experience everyday for the next year of their life waiting for the trial. No one should have to grin and bear advances made by sleazy corporate-level men, who have the ability to make or break their careers, out of fear of losing their job. But still, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the USA has been the victim of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.
So how do we change the rhetoric behind victim blaming? Well, I think the #metoo campaign is a good place to begin, with over 2.3 million tweets from around the world allowing victims and survivors of sexual violence, assault and harassment to share their stories and experiences and lift the burden of silence. A wider conversation about the prevalence of rape has already been sparked in India by the campaign. From this awareness comes recognition and education of not only the acts themselves, but also how we as a society treat the victims of such incidents.
For me, this project really got me thinking about how common acts of sexual assault are, with one of my closest friends coming forward for the very first time in the first weeks of the #metoo trend. I also realized the implicit acts of victim blaming that even I was buying into, like wondering why she stayed silent for so long. Ultimately, what was put into perspective for me is what’s really at stake when we focus on what the victim could have said or done to prevent the assault or harassment, instead of focusing on why the perpetrator did what they did and not be held accountable. Because what’s at stake is that victim’s sense of self-worth and identity, and if the discourse of rape myths and victim blaming is not shifted, the stigma of sexual assault, violence and harassment will remain.
The Language of Rape Culture 